Is There Better Than Here?

I had lunch with a dear friend and her 3 adorable little boys.  They were so loving, curious, rambunctious, energetic, trusting, and amazing.  Their mom is the center of their world.  It was beautiful to watch the interactions between the 4 of them.  My brain went to work as I observed what was going on and I suddenly found myself feeling sad, jealous, and abandoned.  These are a few of the thoughts that came up for me:

I miss those days when my kids needed me like that.  

It was so much easier back then.

Little people little problems, big people big problems.

I would give anything to go back to that.

My kids don't need me anymore.

My brain thought that THERE was better than HERE for a minute.  Sometimes my brain gets confused.  It has forgotten that although that stage was amazing and beautiful, it was also really hard.  Parts of being a mom to little people were magical, parts of it kicked my trash.  Just like now.  Mothering 3 teenagers really isn't all that different.  Sometimes it is fantastic and some of it stinks.  

I stopped and slowed my thoughts down.  Were any of those thoughts even true? My kids do need me, it just looks different now.  Instead of passing out Skittles for potty success,  I have the honor of being a cheerleader over FaceTime to my college student.  Instead of my magical mommy kisses making everything better, I get to observe as my kids come up with their own solutions.  Instead of hearing you're the best mom in the world, I get "Thanks for listening."  I have traded spilled milk for an epic disaster of a bedroom.  I have swapped "sippy" cups for 1/2 empty Le Croix cans.  I don't sing Ittsy Bittsy Spider anymore, but I do have the honor of busting a move in a spontaneous kitchen dance party with Alexa blaring in the background. There is not better than here.  Here is where I want to be.

Are you struggling with wanting to be "THERE"?  I can help you.